For those of you who aren’t familiar, “The Artist’s Way” is a self help book written by American author Julia Cameron. She takes the reader on a deep dive into their inner artist space; a creative, spiritual and logical journey to unlock their inspiration, self love and motivation. Going into the artist way, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I was referred to the book by a podcast called "Tattoo Guardians" where it was briefly mentioned as a helpful tool for spiritual growth and burnout recovery and referred to as “Life Changing”(I can now confirm that it is indeed life changing). I had been in the habit of downloading audiobooks before reading their reviews, and so I added it to my TBR without ANY further research. I just wanted to learn something about myself, fellow artists, and the heart of man. I was in a place in my life where I knew I needed a change, deserved a change, and wanted to carve out true happiness for myself. What I didn’t anticipate was a 12 week program that required daily journaling, weekly tasks, weekly “artist dates” and dedicating almost 3 hours every Sunday to updating my journal tracker and activities tracker. Had I known this book was an activity book I would’ve just bought the physical copy but I did not look into it(… now i know better lol). Listening to the audiobook and manually recording all notes, activities and questions meant more work for me but made for the CUTEST journals. Each weekly activity page/paragraph that would’ve just been a workbook page was made my own with colorful bubble maps, stickers and commentary that the margins of a printed book would not have accommodated. If you decide to go down the “Artist’s Way” rabbit hole, I do recommend rewriting the activities and questions in your own journal. (OR maybe get the physical copy and just make photocopies of the question pages to use in your journal???)

So I started the audio book, and without any warning was thrust into the workload equivalent of a college course, the emotional equivalent of intense therapy, and a drastic change in my schedule to accommodate those things. I wasn’t going to back down. I thought “Hey this book was over $15, you did this to yourself, it’ll be good for you” and was ready to take on the challenge. The book was split up into weekly themes.

• Week 1: Recovering a sense of safety

• Week 2: Recovering a sense of identity

• Week 3: Recovering a sense of power

• Week 4: Recovering a sense of integrity

• Week 5: Recovering a sense of possibility

• Week 6: Recovering a sense of abundance

• Week 7: Recovering a sense of connection

• Week 8: Recovering a sense of strength

• Week 9: Recovering a sense of compassion

• Week 10: Recovering a sense of self-protection

• Week 11: Recovering a sense of autonomy

• Week 12: Recovering a sense of faith

And each chapter consisted of the incredibly insightful words of Julia Cameron, a list of activities, and a weekly check in. In some ways, I would consider myself a know-it-all. Especially when it comes to self help and growth, in the past i have very much been the person that thinks "I've done all the work, im actively doing the work, your tips and tricks can't help me"... but boy do i love to be proven wrong. The way this author so tenderly yet sternly outlines mistakes we make in our own lives, gently guides you through your past and your triggers, and writes about the universe and faith (im not going to lie, at first the mention of god made me turn this audiobook off and not come back for a week. I had to open my mind a bit, and found that her concept of god was much like mine, and we just had different names for it) makes for the perfect self help woo-woo journey. She flawlessly integrates the "inner artist" concept and weaves every chapter with motivation, love and creativity.

The very first challenge in this course (im going to just call this a course because gurl I felt like i was in college again) was setting aside an extra thirty-sixty minutes every morning to write three full pages (stream of consciousness) in a journal. Julia calls these your “morning pages”. They are to be totally freely written with no attention to spelling, grammar or fluidity: Just GO.  You are to do this every single morning before any other task. The contents of the journal are by nature extremely personal and private, and for the duration of the course you’re forbidden from sharing them with anyone. For my first journal, I bought a yellow leather college rule 5x8 book with no margins. At 320 pages (and not actually doing the math, she looked thick enough) I thought it would be perfect to accommodate 12 weeks. At the six week mark I was well over halfway through the book so I went ahead and ordered pink version as a back up. I am still using my pink pages today.

I always did my pages right after my morning walk with Maya, after I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I’d sit down on my porch with my tea or coffee and write. For the first six weeks I stuck with that religiously. There was nothing that could get in the way of my morning pages or my “yellow pages” as I like to call them. The routine was so important to me that I came to obsess over it and would become irritable as all hell when life would get in the way of it. But about half way through the course it began to feel like it was working against me. I started to resent the obligation, but I continued waking up early and trying my best. Around week seven, doctors appointments and consultations had me running behind and i began scribbling through my pages, writing only one or two. By weeks 10-12, I was only getting a full three pages about half of each week. I did feel guilty about it. I was so proud of my discipline, motivation and accomplishment that I felt as though I was slacking on something extremely important, as if I was going to be graded. Julia explains/ predicts how those feelings are common and normal for people going through this project. But in a way, I'm glad that after establishing the routine and maintaining my 3 pages for 6 weeks solid, I didn't let my journal and my "artists way" activities completely run my life. Yes, it was a commitment, and super important to me, but I also need balance. Sometimes I dive head first into things and I think I needed the lesson that it's okay to compromise.

Now I look back and I am just proud of myself for accomplishing what I could, for going far beyond what I ever thought I would be able to achieve and permanently altering my thought patterns, and daily/weekly routine. My mornings now are extremely closely guarded and regimented. Even when the program first ended, I maintained 1-2 pages a day, and invented my own tasks each week to keep myself accountable. Now, 3 months out of the course, I write 3-7 days a week and do at least 1 activity a week. Also, around week 2 of the course, I started a health journal in which I track my diet, exercise and substance use every single day. I have maintained that more consistently than my regular journaling (honestly more consistently than just about anything ive ever done). Overall the journaling portion of “The Artist’s Way” was a success for me. It reminded me of the control I do really have in my own life. Before the course I would only write around significant life events, but daily/weekly writing has made it so much easier for me to identify my feelings and thoughts, work through to work towards things and hold myself accountable. Now I feel that every day is significant enough to write about.

The Activities in the Artist’s way were usually 1-10 things each week to open the mind and heart. They were almost always directly related to the theme of the week, other times they were just wacky. Sometimes they dug deep into past trauma, other times they required you to go to the dollar store and buy yourself some stickers to reward your journaling progress. The weekly tasks changed rewired my mind to function more freely as It did when I was a child. My personal favorite weekly task was to go on a long walk and find a few pretty rocks, leaves, and other various objects and just collect them. I took photos of mine and kept only a few. But that activity really reminded me how important it is to make time for the little things. After dealing with grief and pain, work and responsibility, relationships and obligations, we sometimes forget to appreciate the beauty around us and to leave room for wonder.  

UGH! Another example of a truly fun and effective activity was to find a bunch of magazines (this book is from 1992 and 1992 Julia obviously doesn’t know how expensive 2024 magazines are) and make a collage of what you want to see in this life. When you look back on your life and think “wow. That was beautiful” what will it look like? So, I took to pinterest to save paper and money, and used pro create to collage photos of jazz clubs, cafes by the sea, book stores, gardens, screened porches, camper vans, elderly couples dancing, women laughing together, ice cream sundays, brightly colored living rooms and (upon instruction) photos of myself, and composed an absolutely gorgeous life. I don’t just hope this life will be mine, i know this life is mine. Every single day I experience a part of this life and work towards another. Anyway, I think it's clear the activities portion was my favorite, and the most successful for me. I can see myself going back and doing them all again in 5-10 years. 

  The one way in which I bombed completely during this course was the planning and execution of “artist dates.” I believe had I participated in this element I would have had an even more uplifting experience. “Artist dates” required a weekly time set aside for yourself, be it 30 minutes or entire day, where you listen to your inner artist, follow your spirit and do something to nurture it. I can only think of two or three times that I actually did this with intention. Or at least two or three times where I did something I felt was noteworthy. The only artists dates I can really remember are

 1. Taking myself to the gym, then to get a smoothie, and then to barnes and noble 

2. On my day off, walking with my dog to Kenmore park to look at the daffodils. There were no daffodils, but we had a great time.

  The time I save for myself is usually late in the evening. After the dog is asleep and drawing for clients is done and my boyfriend isn’t there, my friends are all busy, my dishes are washed and my phone is on silent, that’s when I find my freedom. For maybe thirty minutes to three hours usually. I use that to watch horror movies or paint, to enjoy behind-the-scenes documentaries and bake things that bring me joy. Now that I’m writing this I’m realizing maybe I did that during the course more than I initially thought. At the very least, I had to have done that once a week. I know I do now. I can say for sure though, I was absolutely terrible at planning it during the course and reflecting on it. I would find myself getting irritated with Julia Cameron. At the end of the week during the audio book check in she’d say “ did you do your artist date?” and Id say “No Julia, don’t you have a job or a dog or kids or something how do you expect people to be able to just have time for themselves like that on top of all these journal pages and activities???” but i know she was right. It really isn’t that hard if you make it a priority. If you learn to respect your own needs and boundaries and communicate that with others, you can and will find time to follow your inner artist.

Of the categories: Safety, Identity, Power, Integrity, Possibility, Abundance, Connection, Strength, Compassion, Self-protection, Autonomy, Faith

I can honestly say that I saw improvement in every single one. This journey gave me the courage to know my worth as an artist, the strength to decide to move forward, the reminder that I am in control and I can be great, that I AM great. It unblocked creativity that I didn't even know was gummed up. It pushed me to allow myself to do things FOR myself. It gave me the self compassion and strength to ask for a raise, the safety and identity to make art for myself, the sense of possibility to start writing both fiction and non fiction again, and I found my voice as an artist that i didn't even know was lost.  It helped me in ways that only therapy and baked goods have. I highly recommend this to any creative person. It’s waiting for you!